His butler, A deviant
by xXTheMatureAudienceXxTMA
Summary: A black butler fanfic, Sebastian x Ciel.
1. Why so serious?

It was quite boring at Phantomhive Manor this evening... Lizzie was gone, which meant i'd finally have a moment of silence and no one would be able to bother me about anything, considering i wasn't in England anymore. Oh right, but there's still Sebastian. I turned to look out the large glass window and frowned as i heard the door swing open. "Master, your tea is ready." Said a voice that rang in my ears. I turned to face Sebastian, his raven black hair partially over his eyes and the rest suitable around his face, his red eyes glaring at me. I swung back to the window in my chair, looking out at the fog that was beginning to seep through the few sprung blackened trees in the distance.

" Quit staring at me like that... Sebastian." I tried to say firmly, but it came out in more of a soft mumble. I put my hand to my face. "Idiot..." I muttered to myself and kept wondering why i was acting all flustered. "Bochan." I heard Sebastian hum and spin the chair back around, his black coat tossed on the desk. "Put your coat back on..." I mumbled, my hands still over my reddened face. I felt the softness of his pure white gloves and the firmness of his grip as he pulled his hands away from my face. He examined my expression for a couple of minutes and then pulled out his pocket watch and glared at the little hands ticking inside the tiny golden circle with a thin glass screen.

" It is very warm in here Bochan, i hope me being 'coat-less' doesn't bother you. Also, drink your tea, it will get cold." Sebastian stated and then gave a smile. " I'm not hungry, anymore." i replied quickly and got up to try to chuck the coat at his face. Anything to get him to leave. " But, bochan you haven't ate all day. Is something wrong?" I could tell he wasn't going to leave. "But,Bochan!" I mimicked. "Just leave me alone right now Sebastian."I said and tightly gripped the jacket, ready to lunge it into his face.  
I raised my arm, ready to run forward, but a firm hand caught my wrist and i heard a firm voice say," Bochan, sit back down and drink your tea." I froze.


	2. Do i really?

" Sebastian, you're getting on my nerves..." I mumbled, pulling lose from his grip, that was on my wrist. I was easier to yell at him, when he wasn't staring at me like that. It was true... Sort of, I mean he was confronting me in the worst time possible. Not that i enjoyed his presence in the first place, but i didn't hate it. I felt fingertips at my spine and i shivered, my face becoming a deep red. I turned around and shouted," Stop touching me like that! Don't have you something better to do, than being a creep!" I watched him smile and i hastily turned away. "Ciel..." Sebastian purred and sat on the desk, his leg over the other, with his head slightly tilted. I didn't respond, just kept on staring at my buckling knees and my shaky hands, still feeling the blood rushing to my face in embarrassment.

"Why, do you keep giving me that face." He questioned gently. A lump caught in my throat and it soon became hard to reply. "What face?" I choked and finally mustered up enough strength to turn to face him, my hair over my eyes, that i made sure of. He let out a soft laugh. "You know what i'm taking about..." He said and i felt his feet gently meet the ground. " Oh, God..." I breathed as i heard his footsteps move closer. I didn't look at him, but i could see his black shoes facing mine and felt his hand meet my skin and lift up my chin. He then, sat down, on the elaborate carpeting and reached out for my arm, gently gripping my bare wrist and bringing me close, allowing me to stumble forward. " Ciel, I mean when i do this..." He whispered and brought his lips to mine.

My face burned and i felt his hands move from my face to tightly around my back, bringing me close into him. The scent of white roses was all i could inhale. My legs finally went limp and i fell more into his arms, now on my knees, my hands shakily gripping his shirt. Why have i not pulled back? How come i'm not struggling? My eyes widened at the thought,"Do i really love him?"


	3. May i be your master?

He pulled away from me, before i could pull back from him and i shyly breathed," Sebastian..." I fixed myself and stood back as he looked down at his watch. Sebastian looked up from the pocketwatch and he said," Well, bochan... I have to go prepare diner, so i'll be off." I watched him rise to his feet and pick up his jacket. He turned to the door and i viewed him as he opened it and watched him walk out. I quickly followed after him and shouted," Sebastian can i come?"

Sebastian turned to me, with a look of surprise and said," Bochan, are you allright? Are you sure you're not too intoxicated from my 'love'?" He gave a grin and i looked at him too embarrassed to admit that i want him more than ever. I was an idiot for letting my emotions rush over me so fast. I took off my eye patch, tossed it on the floor. My hands trembled. "what am i doing?!" I thought to myself. I looked at him, standing, quite a distance away from me, seriousness read on his face. "S-S-Sebastian Michealis!" I said loudly and saw his crimson eyes narrow. I told myself not to go through with this, but the stronger part of my mind said: go ahead-do it... "Sebastian Michealis! This is an o-order!" I stuttered at looked at my feet, sensing his presence. "" I want you to take a bath!" I said in embarrassment, my face burning red, my knees began to buckle.

" You want me to take a bath,Bochan?" Sebastian said in a questionable tone. I couldn't bring myself to look at him, again. "I want you to take a bath, with-w-w-with me." I said and felt his hands at my waist and then he pulled me up, over his shoulder and said," Don't worry Bochan, i know you like your bath water hot, never cold, never luke warm. You're in the hands of a perfectionist." I heard the smile in his voice and i squirmed in his arms and said," Wait, Sebastian! I take it back! " He laughed as he swung open the bathroom door and lowered me down and shut the door, locking it and stood over me, blocking the doorway saying," Heh, well bochan, for once you didn't slap me. Now, take it off." "What!" I said back, nervously and tried to find the nearest window. Sebastian grabbed me by the waist, i looked down at his white gloves and felt him unbutton my coat and then take off my ribbon. " Sebastian! Cut it out!" I cried in nervousness, pulling at his arms as he slipped off my shirt. I felt his skin met mine, his chin on my bare shoulder and he whispered," You look so cute when you get all shy and timid, Bochan...Or should i say, my little Ciel." I bit my lip in shyness and gave a coy smile and glared own at my feet.

My heart raced and my head spun as the blood rushed to my face. "Why don't you let me be your Master, for tonight..." My hands shook as i heard his words, it was obviously a command, not a suggestion.


	4. You did this to yourself

I took a breath as i popped up from under the water, my eyes still shut. I brought my hands to my eyes and shyly said,"This is more like a swimming pool than a bath." My hair fell over my face and i made my way to the opposite end of the tub, strictly looking at the rippling water. Suddenly i saw the distortion of a figure and my face reddened. I turned to look at the opposite end of the bath... Empty. My eyes wandered until i eventually met a pair crimson eyes. He sat casually lounged against the white marble wall , steam clouding the air, blurring his humane perfection. His black hair fell partially over his face, like it always had and his nails looked as if they were kissed with midnight, a charcoal black. I was standing only a few inches from him and gawked at his figure. He looked more intimidating with his clothes off. His features were possessed of strong muscles, abs that were clearly visible, and skin that was close to a creme white. I turned and heard," Where do you you're going, my little... Ciel." I stopped, hesitated, but then began to move forward. I felt his cold hand at my wrist and i turned to face him with an expression of humiliation. "You haven't forgotten about our agreement, have you?"He said and pulled me into his embrace. " Sebastian!" I cried as he held me tighter as i struggled to move loose from his grip.

He grinned, fully restraining me and purred," Please, call me Master." I turned to him shyly and struggled in his grip, another failed attempt. The sensation of water on flesh, did not suit as comforting and suddenly my eyes began to shut as his grip tightened and my embrace weakened. " Forgive me..." I said turning my head, not to dare look at him. Now, i had a generalization of how he felt, no matter what he thought, how he felt- he must obey me and now i'm getting a taste of my own medicine. I choked out the last words," F-F-Forgive m-me my-my ma-master..."


	5. The truth

My mind was conflicted with desire and fear. My mind told me, no, but my body said, yes. Why was he- was i allowing?!- Desiring such things! I know he doesn't love me like _that _anyways. He doesn't think of me like- "Ciel?" I heard a voice purr into my ear. My thoughts scattered and i looked away, no response. I felt his grip tighten around my wrists and i cringed. He doesn't love me... Tears began to swell in my eyes and i stared back into his intoxicating gaze. "Don't touch me!" I shouted, squirming in his embrace, clouded more aless by my sorrow then anger . I saw his reaction change to disbelief and he let me go. "What?" i heard him say as he blocked my path. I looked into the clear, rippling, glistening water. "Didn't you request me to do this? Ciel?" He said and brought his hands to my shoulders.

"First you trick me, inticing me with your 'love'- as if you have any! You! " I screamed, the tears bubbling and surging over my skin as my heart pounded, staring into his eyes with a mixed emotion of rage and sadness. "This is an act! You're just my puppet- you're just an emotionless thing that wants to steal my soul-not my heart!" I cried and put my hands to my eyes. Mental breakdown. The atmosphere had changed to serenity and warmth to digust and hatred.

"So..." He said, the first word, rolling off his tongue, slithering past his teeth. I wouldn't look at him. No. "You think i'm just a heartless bloodthirtsy demon that wants nothing more- than to destroy you?" I bit my lip, my teeth digging into the supple flesh, holding back. "I'm confused because didn't i kill for you- didn't i try everything in my power to be with you?" The ,now, aggrivated voice spoke. I felt his touch at my back. For some reason it wanted him to pour out his heart,everything, the truth becuase part of me still didn't believe him. "Don't think i don't know, Ciel. Maybe it's the fact that you've never have been smothered by another's desire, another's passion, oh, i don't know, maybe someone who actually cares about you." I wouldn't snap for him, i would let him see me so weak and distraught. In seconds he shoved me under water, falling into the darkness, my eyes shot open. Caught in his embrace, i struggled to reach for air until his lips forcibly met mine and my lungs finally began to expand.


	6. Is this what i am to you?

"Sebastian..." I moaned. My back arching, my fingers, digging into the cold flesh of his back. The blood rushed to my face as white noise pulse through my ears. My toes curling. This sensation, this... This is what it feels like? My throat tightened as he brought his tongue to the skin of my neck while kneading my hip. My skin crawled at his touch, becoming hot and slimy. It felt so wrong, and I wanted him to stop, but at the same time i wanted him to continue to give me what i deserve. " It's not supposed to be a punishment, ciel..." He purred dragging my closer to him and parting his lips, pressing them to my ear. My eyes widened and i couldn't speak. I know, but i wanted to have that feeling of not knowing- of not caring. And the fact that i thought about it so carelessly,was driving me insane. "But it can be,if you want it to..." He said with a grin, narrowing his eyes. I shook my head. I did- but, i didn't.

Why did the fact of doing something so wrong excite me, make my heart just jump a little bit faster, pound a bit harder, and make all sense of reality seem to disappear?

Why did i feel this way?

I laid moments later, sprawled out against the tile floor, soaking,dripping wet, my skin crawling, my heart suffocating in my own misery and excitement. "Don't try to resist..." He breathed deviously into my ear. My trembling fingers slid and my arms and legs, slipped and spiraled in a dance on their own as i tried to regain some strength. Refuse. Put up a fight. "You've had enough,so..." I sighed, releasing a raspy breath from my caged lungs. He let out a short laugh, climbing into a position, towering over me. He leaned in close, his nose touching the tip of mine. "That may be so, but i don't think you've had your fair share..." What have i done?! I released a hellspawn lunatic- not a lover.

His embrace,his touch, set my flesh ablaze and burned my senses. His once, cool touch, felt as burning imprints and heated scars. No more. Please, no more... I pleaded in mind, if he chose to read it this time. Sebastian's black hair hung over his face, the red illuminating in his eyes through the scattered black strands. "Just imagine if you had cat ears." He purred, flashing a grin, clawing at my shoulders. You and your cat fetish... I growled to myself. And eventually my lips parted again, releasing a scream. He made a face and smiled saying," It's not a fetish, it's an obsession- there are very strict differences." I bit my bottom lip hard and my eyes shut tight. I don't think so- they're both very similar. I reached, struggled, to embrace him as our bodies slid and pressed against the puddle, the whole tile of the large bathroom floor, soaked and slimy. I wanted him to stop, maybe to even leave, but i couldn't let any words escape my mouth, except his name as he taunted me. Why was he humiliating me, when he told me he loved me, acting as if this act was supposed to be something precious? As if i mean something to him?


	7. Nightmare's harsh reality

My eyes shot open and I gazed up at the ceiling. Dawn's blue light coating fragments of the darkness in my room. I sat up, in a cold sweat terrified if I was still trapped in this nightmare or back in reality. I reached for the blankets, they felt soft- soft enough. I breathed in heavily, I must be awake. I felt so disgusted and ashamed of myself. "Sebastian!" I cried out in the silence, but all I could see was darkness. Tears swelled up in my eyes. How many times have I relived this same situation? What?! This has been the fifth time this week! Every night! I pounded my fist into the sheets and my lip began to quiver. I heard the door slowly creak open and his voice pulsed into my ears. "Yes, my lord?" He questioned, sounding a bit concerned. I watched his pale figure blur in front of my eyes. "I-I had another nightmare..." I choked out, humiliated. I felt two large arms wrap around me and heard the soft compression of springs. " Oh bochan...It was one of 'those' nightmares again... wasn't it?" He sighed and patted my head. I nodded shyly, sniffling and collapsing into his embrace. I had let my guard down, and now, beneath it all I was really just this helpless, weak, idiotic child who always demanded his way and should have never deserved it. "Hmph, bochan, the only thing I enjoy about these little mental imaginary fits, is that I finally get to see you, who you really are." He stated and patted my back a few times. My face burned, he made me sound as if I was some emotionally depressed child. "Not to sound harsh, but it is extremely amusing- not the painful emotional aspect of course, but the helplessness- in which in front of everyone else you seem to hide." He continued, as usual, always being so critical about my mentality. The fact that he knew me so well- really pissed me off. But I'll be nice, for once, and listen.

"Bochan, do you care if I address you differently, than usual, just for tonight?" He asked. How long had he been muttering and murmuring to me? It was almost light out, but no light ever reached this room. I didn't respond, I wouldn't. If I was "helpless" I wouldn't show it, I wouldn't speak of it. He took that as a yes. "Well I assume, Ciel, that even though you won't admit it- even in your darkest hours, you like the comfort. And for some reason, I'm the only who seems to have the ability to give that to you." He stated. That wasn't true. I had... I have... I-I mean there's... I suppose he was right. He always was and will be. In the end, I'm the idiot and he's the one who will determine my fate anyways. I felt my head hit the soft plush pillow and then my partially exposed skin, hit the silken covers as I was slowly laid down. Sebastian laid down beside me, staring into my eyes, his own crimson red eyes narrowing in the process. "Do you have feelings for me Ceil?" He asked. That was a horrible question. He knew I was conflicted and I... " Do you wonder about me? Do you only wake up crying in cold sweats at night, your heart racing, your lungs- gasping for breath... to find yourself a mess because you might be in love?" He pressed, and I understood that he was no longer asking me questions but making observations. But if it was love... I wouldn't be afraid. I wouldn't be... crying. I wouldn't...

And at that moment reality had cut me, making my worst fears, my nightmare awaken as I felt Sebastian's lips seal mine with a kiss.


	8. Confliction

"You know, Ceil... It's not in my humanistic morals to want to behave in such a way, also given my form, but the beast that dwells behind this flesh might just want to partake in satisfying a little lovesick boy..." Sebastian purred into my air. It sounded disgusting when he said it and I moved away. I wanted him to be here, but I didn't. "Go away..." I lied, under my breath and I knew I wanted him here more than anything. "Well, you see now Ceil, I don't think I can." He said, sitting back up on my bed, brushing off his black suit pants and adjusting his vest. "What do you mean, you can't!"I said back confused, and sat up to face him. "Well, not to upset you, Ceil, but I don't think I can refrain much longer..." He said calmly, raising an eyebrow and pulling of one of his gloves with his teeth. I shivered and looked away blushing, seeing his tongue run over the tips of his pale fingertips, the saliva trickling over his black fingernails and the rest of his long slender fingers. I shook my head in anger, why did that excite me?! I turned back around, red in the face and said," Just stop it! I don't want you here if you're just going to be cruel about my emotions!" I covered my mouth,quickly. I can't believe I just said that. Sebastian flashed a devious grin and pressed," Hmph, the funny thing about this is that no matter what you say at the moment, no command will really stop me right now. Unless, of course it's a command that I would be pleased with." I felt my heart pound and I defensively shouted back,"You can't do that! That is clearly not in the contract!" He laughed and began to unbutton his vest. "Oh Ceil, don't be so timid. I'm very gentle when it comes to such acts. Heh, I can be a very passionate beast. But you might want to be careful on the choice of your words, I don't have a very good tendency of controlling myself in such situations, such as this." He stated, throwing his vest onto the darkened floor. My eyes widened and I looked down ashamed and aggravated.

I glared at him as he unbuttoned his shirt and threw it onto the ground. "Oh Ceil, you look as if you're taking this as a punishment... Isn't this what you wanted?" He questioned, heartlessly and I scowled. "Not like this! A-And I-I don't know what the hell I want Sebastian!" I shouted, folding my arms, trying to stop them from shaking. He smirked and scruffed my hair saying,"Ah, I see. Conflicted by love and hate,child?" I slapped his hand away, holding back the tears of humiliation. "Don't call me 'child'! I am not a child!" Sebastian's, slender fingers clung to my wrist ,stopping my motion and I pulled back. "Let me go!" I said embarrassingly and lowered my eyes. His touch was... warm. "Oh my... It seems as if I can't control myself,Ceil. Please don't put up a fight, if you want me to refrain, you better behave." He growled deviously, shoving me back onto the bed and gawked at his exposed skin, only then to become taken back by his fierce actions. "I love you Ciel." He said softly, licking his lips, touching his nose to the tip of mine, showing his hands to me and then without a second thought, gripped the fabric of my large nightshirt and ripped it off, exposing my own creme flesh. I jolted back as I felt the warmth of his palm on my chest, sinking back, deeper into the sheets I closed my eyes shut. "No, nah, p-please S-Sebastian, don't do this..." I breathed heavily and brought my now-free hands to conceal my bright red face as he ran his hand from my chest to my back. "Ceil?" He questioned, and slowly removed my hands from my face. I looked at him with watery eyes and choked out,"What?" But he gently slithered over me, resting his body on top of mine and took my face in his hands. I averted my gaze into the darkness, until I found a pair of crimson eyes staring back into mine. He sighed and said," Ceil...This is the truth- I love you. And I see, even behind your helplessness, your clearly do not lust for me right now. Forget this had ever happened my lord, such an act will never happen again." He whispered into my ear, kissed my cheek, climbed off of my body, picked up his things that lay on the darkened floor, and turned back to me one last time and said," Goodnight, my lord. Sleep peacefully." And with those words he disappeared into the darkness... My heart ached. Should I go after him?


	9. Only so many chances

A/N: You don't have to, but I recommend listening to Kagomeuta no jubaku- AvelCain, or Hebi to Ume by AvelCain or Birou by Royz while reading this chapter- or you know just find something to set the mood :P I feel it makes the story more amusing ^_^

I quickly scrambled from my position and began to make my way off the bed, falling and tangling myself in the sheets in the process. I felt my face hit the carpet,but I had to catch him. I couldn't roam the mansion alone. And a really large part of me wished I hadn't sent him away, but I didn't want him to come back and just use me as if I was just a puppet. Come to think of it, I really didn't know what I wanted, but I know that deep down inside- I had really regretted making him angry. I could see the rage that burned in his eyes as he glared at me one last time, the disappointment that was carried in his voice as he told me goodnight. And strangely enough, it bothered me to the core. I stumbled, my hands out, searching in the darkness for the large wooden doorhandles. I finally gripped the cold wooden handle and swung open the door only to be enveloped by more of midnight's essence. I peered down the long hallway to see a faint flickering dim glow. I hesitated on just going back to bed, but... "Sebastian!" I cried out, my voice wavering in the darkness. I heard nothing but silence. He must've left. I found myself beginning to roam in the dark of night, my hands skimming the mansion walls. The soft plush velvet carpet compressed under my heavy footsteps. My heart was thudding violently and my chest began to tighten. What would I say to him when I saw him angrily awaiting my response, or maybe just silently asleep dreaming of his idiotic cat fetish? My cheeks stung as I felt I was getting closer to his room with every step. His sickening words repeated in my head as if they were on rewind and there was no pause button to stop it. He made me feel so lowly and disgusting, I suppose it was payback. For all these years that I've treated him like trash.

I opened what I thought was the last door I could find. I rubbed my eyes, only to hear a faint dark and sinister melody, concocted with deep growls and shrill screeches. And then I heard humming, a perfect melody that pulsed through my ears and the mimics of soft growls that conjured back from the voice's throat. I swallowed hard and slowly closed the door, stepping inside, trying to find the ominous voice. There was another doorway that flickered and glowed with a warm glow. I breathed wearily. "Oh my..." I heard the voice state and I froze. It was S-Sebastian. My heart nearly stopped at his voice. "What are you doing here? Bochan, I thought I told you Goodnight? Why have you troubled yourself to find my room at this hour?" He spoke from the room, not making an appearance. "I-I just wanted to-" I gushed embarrassingly,shyly. "Well, it seems you are a bit apologetic, are you not?" He interjected. I nodded my head to the open doorway, my back against the closed entrance. "Well are you?" He asked firmly and I realized I hadn't responded. "E-Eh y-yes sir!" I replied frantically. I heard him let out a soft cruel laugh and then mutter "Of course," to himself. "You see, you clearly don't do this because you 'want' to, but because that little psychopath in the back of your mind is screaming at you to do so... Am I correct?" He paused and the finished. "Or am I not?" He questioned. "Y-you're correct... but-" I stammered under my breath but was cut off again. "But what?!" He questioned, infuriated, but speaking his words calmly. My legs buckled, my eyes lowered, flooding over with tears, and I hit the floor, falling to my hands and knees. I had lost, my only chance, my only moment to confess my heart and soul to him. And I lost it. Silence...

"Come here..." He growled calmly and I brought myself to my feet, following his voice. The world around me, blurred and disfigured by my tears. I saw large red droplets coating the floor and I felt the silken touch of them as my feet cautiously moved closer to the voice, treading shakily on the damp tile floor, over the rose petals. I whimpered and sobbed," Sebastian! I'm sorry! I-I love you!" I cowered in his presence, because I know I will never have a second chance.


	10. Forgiveness, My Lord

A/N: More song recommendations! . T.T Oh yea... Well if you'd like- to make this interesting you could listen to Setsuna by Diavro, Concealment by Siva, or Romance by BUCK-TICK ^_^ Completely optional- but highly recommended :| Anyways- ENJOY!

I felt a soft brushing of fingertips through my hair. I looked up, all my vision blurry and I saw him smiling. "Hmph, I forgive you, Ceil." He said softly, now running his fingers through my hair. I shivered at his touch, his very being. My lip quivered. "Why are you acting like that?" I asked, sniffling, running my forearm across my face. He snickered and asked," Like what?" "Well, you're acting all nice and forgiving... Aren't you going to send me back to my room or..." I responded sheepishly, my words faded as I continued, glaring helplessly through the strands of navy blue hair that hung in front of my reddened eyelids. "Oh my, of course not. After all, you nearly killed yourself in a search for my room. Aside from that, all of your crying and refusing must've made you exhausted. But don't worry, I'll be very hospitable." Sebastian said, hoisting me up to my feet. I could feel every weak bone in my body shudder. The steam from the room covered my eyesight. I found myself staring back into the same pair of crimson blood red eyes that had been my visitor only minutes ago. I felt my body submerged into water. It was...warm. My body froze at the touch of wet hands, slowly slithering and wrapping around my back. I nuzzled my head into a firm, hard, wet chest. My eyes widened as I felt the water seep and soak into my large ripped shirt. "Um... I-I-I don't think this is..." I stammered quickly, not meeting his gaze, trying to look at something else. But he wouldn't let me go. "I'm sorry, but I don't really understand why you are so afraid. You must be, because your heart sounds as if it's going to break right out of your chest..." He teased and I took in a shaky breath.

We just laid there. My eyes began to droop as I finally placed my head upon his chest. I rubbed my eyes a bit, to try to stay awake. "Tired?" He questioned. I listened to his voice vibrate and pulse deep within his ribcage, but I heard no heartbeat. It was impossible for him to love me. Impossible. I slowly closed my eyes and feel into a slumber. I wonder if death is this peaceful?

A/N: Sorry for the short chapter- I just didn't want to "rush" things :| More on the way ^^


	11. Ceil, can't you sleep?

A/N: Finally! An update! w I've been so busy lately, my most sincere apologies! Well, I hope you guys enjoy this, sorry it's a bit short, but chapter 12 should arrive to your liking, eventually. Please tell me what you like or what you didn't! Advice and support is always appreciated! Thank you soooo much everyone- I'm surprised people actually liked this =.= Well enjoy your update ladies and gentlemen! More is one the way!

My eyes slowly opened. I breathed in heavily feeling soft silk brush against my face. I looked around, lazily and tiredly. I looked at the dim blue silhouette that midnight's moon had cast upon the room. I sighed and hugged the red silk closer to my face. "Hmmmm. What's wrong?" I heard a voice whisper in my ear. "Can you not sleep?" He asked and I felt a firm hand run through my messy teal hair. I shook my head shivering at his touch. "Do you want some warm milk?" Sebastian whispered softly, still stroking my hair back. I nuzzled my head into the pillow, trying to conceal the blood that rushed to my cheeks in embarrassment. "Hmmm?" He mused quietly. "I-I... I'm okay... I just.. I-I..." I stammered shyly and softly, squirming a bit in the blankets as I purposefully tried to move away from him. "Oh my, my little Ceil can not sleep. " He said softly. I felt his large slender hands hoist me up from under my arms, pull me out of the blankets, the feeling of warmth and comfort leaving my heated body, and laying me on my back, my limp body sinking into the cool silken sheets and blankets. I whimpered, sheepishly meeting his crimson red eyes. "I won't hurt you, why do you keep moving away from me?" Sebastian asked sincerely, leaning forward, picking me up again, and laying down, leaving my body trapped within his arms. I didn't respond, all I could do was shiver and whimper, I was too nervous, too scared, too shy when I was within his presence. But, of course he wanted me to suffer, to choke out a reply. "Hmmm, my little Ceil?" He purred, squeezing my body a bit tighter, my chest pounding against his chest. "E-Eh... Mmmmnnnn... I-I... I don't know..." I responded nervously, my fingers twisting in the soft fabric of his button up night shirt, my legs embarrassingly sliding against the plush fabric of his night pants that covered his long, slender yet muscular figure.

"Are you afraid of me?" He asked only minutes later. I didn't respond. Maybe. Yes. I don't know, to be quite honest. "That fact that you're not answering is quite troublesome..." Sebastian stated with a sigh. Suddenly he had laid me on my back again, hugging my petite tensed body. "S-Sebast- Sebastian!" I cried softly, pushing my trembling hands against his shoulders. I know it would do nothing. I could feel the tears swelling, my body burning, my heart pounding. And suddenly, he kissed me. My eyes shut tight as I could feel my very breath being sucked out and then being breathed back in. My mouth was open as wide as it could go, his lips gently but forcibly pressing against mine, slowly prying open my mouth. My eyes shot open as I felt his tongue infiltrate my mouth, searching and coating every crevasse with his warm saliva. He gently pulled back, carrying a trail of saliva with him, glaring into my eyes with a look of pure sincerity. No smile, no smirk, no grin. No frown. Just parted lips, dripping with saliva of seduction. I laid there, shocked, stunned... In awe. I've never seen him act like this before. "I want you Ceil." He said firmly, then showing a slight smile. "Se...", was all I could say before he kissed me again,hugging my body, squeezing my hips, messaging my thighs. He pulled back again, only seconds later, to hear my breath heavy and uneven. "I love you." He purred into my ear, skimming his nose along my jawbone, then pressing against my neck, in which his lips then caressed. I felt his hands squeeze my hands,lightly, intertwining with my small fingertips. It's going to be okay, I promise- such a feeling I had felt from this touch. For some reason I felt as if he was trying to reassure me, by his actions, rather than his words. That all of these wrong scenes and actions I had imagined, somehow wouldn't exist, that it wouldn't hurt, that it would feel amazing. That he did...Sebastian Michealis... Did indeed, LOVE ME...


	12. Love, Lust, and Lies

A/N: Okay, I literally LOVED reading all of the recent reviews I received on this fanfic! I enjoy the reviews in general :3 Thank you sooo much! All of you! So I just have to update now . Enjoy!

His slender fingers gripped the bottom of my shirt, pulling it over my head. "Sebas..." I panted as his lips withdrew from mine. "No reason to feel intimidated, Ceil." He mused, exposing each inch of my bare creme skin. I shut my eyes tightly, bracing myself for pain. His long, muscular frame slithered on top of mine and I cringed. I slightly opened my eyes to view his figure, and as soon as I caught a glimpse, I immediately shut my eyes again. He was built, each contour and crevasse firm and hard. And he tells me not to feel intimidated. Suddenly, something wet and slimy met my exposed chest, leaving a wet sticky trail along with it. Sebastian's hands, gripped the sides of my ribs, slowly moving his hands to my underarms, then tracing the rest of my arms, to meet my trembling hands, that were slowly clenching into fists.

"Ah! Naaaahhhh..." I moaned, feeling Sebastian's tongue lick and slither over my skin, sucking on my flesh. My heart pounded. Did I really want this? "Are you scared?" He panted. I didn't want to look at him,but... My eyes slowly opened, tears bubbling up at the seams. My lip quivered, as I gazed into his soul less blood red eyes. "Hmph." He mused with a smirk and held me close. "Quite terrified...aren't you? I can feel your whole petite body tremble with fear in my arms." He whispered, only to twist and tangle our bodies into a dark abyss. At each touch it became a struggle to breathe. Was he slowly killing me? Each caress left my body with imprints of disgust and worthlessness. I've never felt so unholy. It was if I could feel my very innocence be stripped away... Intentionally, because I craved such lowly behavior. My mind was dazed... Never have I hated myself until now. My heart sank. "Stop it, Ceil." Sebastian snapped in my train of thought. "What did I tell you?" He asked, his hands binding my wrists. I know what he said. I know... But I can't help but feel like those words are all untrue...

Sorry for the short chapter ;-; More updates on the way .


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